Recently, I conducted an interview intervention on “whether you want to get married” using the 5whys technique and had a chat with a girl about her views on marriage. By constantly asking questions, the logic and reasons behind whether she wants to get married were identified. At the same time, a summary was made to analyze the pull of reality and the pursuit of ideals behind her answers.
Q1: Do you plan to get married in the future?
Yes.
Q2: What makes you want to get married?
Mainly, it’s the relationship between my parents. Their marriage gave me an impression of an ideal partnership. They’re quite complementary in personality, and I also want to find a life partner—someone to accompany me and live together long-term.
Q3: Could you describe your parents’ relationship in more detail?
My dad is responsible for earning money and working, while my mom takes care of me and my sister at home. Although their roles are complementary, my mom has told me she often feels like the weaker party in the relationship. The one who earns money tends to have more power in the household, and that imbalance has always existed. I know I’m not the type to become a full-time housewife like my mom—I couldn’t accept that.
Q4: What would your ideal husband be like?
I want a partner I can stand shoulder to shoulder with. We’d both have our own careers. If we don’t have children, then I think we could split finances equally and remain economically independent. But if I have to take on the responsibility of childbirth, then I believe the man should bear more of the financial burden.
Q5: Have you ever considered switching roles—like you becoming the main breadwinner and him taking care of the family?
No, I couldn’t accept that. Deep down, I’m someone who admires strength. I can’t accept a partner who’s less capable than I am. He doesn’t have to be significantly better, just a little bit better than me.
Analysis Summary
1. Formation of Female Views on Marriage: Strong Influence from Family Model
The interviewee heavily references her parents’ relationship as a key framework.
She both admires the emotional security of a “complementary couple” (a life partner) and rejects the inequality her mother experienced.
This forms a psychological tension—a mix of longing and caution—which represents how many Gen Z women grapple with traditional models of marriage.
2. Division of Responsibility and Gender Awareness: Assumed Female Role in Childbearing
She accepts that she would naturally bear the responsibility of childbirth and expects her partner to provide additional financial support because of that.
However, this implies an internalized assumption that childbearing is the woman’s default duty—a compromise rather than a pursuit of full equality.
Critical reflection: Does this suggest that modern female autonomy still operates within traditional gender structures?
3. Standards for an Ideal Partner: Rational Evaluation + Emotional Projection
She stresses that she cannot accept a man less capable than her, but also adds he doesn’t need to be significantly better—just a bit better.
This shows an underlying status sensitivity and competitive awareness, meaning the ideal of “equality” in a relationship is still influenced by comparison and hierarchy.
Keywords: admiration of strength, relative advantage, partner selection mechanism, gendered performance pressure
4. Structural Issues Behind Marriage: True Equality Remains Difficult
She aspires to build a marriage between two career-driven individuals, but her responses inadvertently reveal structural imbalances (e.g., childbirth, financial risk, default male advantage).
This highlights how even highly self-aware women still lack the structural freedom to fully realize their ideal of an equal marriage.
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